a scary shady kind of dude

but the BEST part of the story is the dude has a dog, a 'small staff' AND a cook. so what you say? well THE DUDE IS IN PRISON IN AFGHANISTAN

American convict opts to remain in Afghan jail

KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) -- An American citizen imprisoned in Afghanistan for running a private jail for terror suspects has a new passport. His dog has been vaccinated for overseas travel. But two months after being freed by presidential decree, Jack Idema remains in his Afghan cell.
The reasons why, like most of Idema's dramatic personal story, are murky and complicated. They include a visa dispute and a compensation claim by one of his victims.
They also involve documents that Idema says would finally prove his claim that he was a hired mercenary hunting al-Qaeda suspects on a mission sanctioned by U.S. counterterrorism officials -- a claim that American authorities have denied.
Idema's Afghan lawyer and prison officials say Idema could be just days away from leaving the country. But Idema, a former Green Beret from Fayetteville, North Carolina, has appeared in no hurry to quit a prison cell that by local standards is top of the line.
His self-described prison "suite," has its own kitchen, a private bathroom, couches, rugs, TV, Internet access and a small staff. He is also friendly with prison guards aligned with the Northern Alliance, the coalition of anti-Taliban militias that helped the U.S. drive the hardline militia from power in late 2001.............