the onion did what NO ONE else could

Condoleezza Rice displays for reporters one of the many varieties of atoms Iran is believed to already possess.


proof positive iran HAS DANGEROUS ATOMS


uh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


U.S. Intelligence: Iran Possesses Trillions Of Potentially Dangerous Atoms


WASHINGTON—Barely two months after U.N. inspectors in Iran failed to find evidence of an active nuclear weapons program, the Department of Homeland Security uncovered new information Monday proving the Middle Eastern nation has obtained literally trillions of atoms—the same particles sometimes used to make atomic bombs—for unknown purposes.............





........"The threat of atoms in Iran is real," said Chertoff, showing reporters an empty vial to illustrate his point. "Even as we speak, Iranians are turning millions of carbon atoms into a powerful energy source they can use to strengthen their armies, pilots, president, and someday perhaps, a team of nuclear physicists.".............