the infamous emails...........

most of this is work related but CAN be applicable to other venues.

there are three types of emails: the REPLY ALL, the ENDLESS EMAIL MISSIVE and the CUTESY/FLOWERY/CHAIN-MAIL(Y)/USELESS(Y) EMAIL: i do not wish to burst anyone's balloons or bubbles or bows or crack n**s, but the rest of the world does NOT really care if you signed up for the flu shot, the chair massage, the mortgage seminar or where you park your car. think carefully and note ALL the names on the distribution list. do you really want to hit that reply all button? is your answer necessary for the entire group to read? will we care? again, THINK BEFORE hitting enter. we will ALL thank you. this leads right into the never ending email: DO NOT thank the sender more than once. do NOT keep an email going for seven days. do NOT be cute (funny is one thing, cute is another. VERY FEW can pull it off). here is a portion of an actual potentially endless email:
EMAILER #1: EFFECTIVE NOVEMBER 1ST supplies should be ordered from person XXX or person YYY.
EMAILEE #1:is this internal or external?
EMAILER: external
EMAILEE: THANK U
EMAILEE: (again) USUALLY WHEN I NEED ENVELOPES I GET THEM MYSELF, I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH PERSON XXX
EMAILER: i said EXTERNAL supplies only
EMAILEE: oh, ok, thank U
EMAILEE: (AGAIN) I DID FIGURE THAT OUT YOU KNOW.
EMAILEE: (AGAIN AND AGAIN): BY THE WAY, I LIKE YOUR OUTFIT
EMAILEE:(AGAIN AND AGAIN AD NAUSEAUM): CALL ME CRAZY, BUT NOT TOO LONG AGO DIDN'T YOU SEND OUT ANOTHER EMAIL ABOUT SUPPLIES?
ok, i then put an immediate halt to the above travesty.

please don't make up cute little words in your email. spell out YOU, ARE, ANY (not, u, r, ne) ahhhhhhhhhhhhh please don't send me a chain letter. i am bright enough to know i am not going to lose my house, my car, my friends, cause someone to die, or die myself if i don't forward it on. i know i will NOT inherit a million dollars. please don't tell me disney world has an email tracker (there is NO such thing) and i will win an all expenses paid vacation for 10 people for 5 weeks if i forward that email you just sent me to 25 of my nearest and dearest friends (who of course would NOT be afterwards). please don't tell me NOT to stick my finger in a pay phone coin return receptacle because there is a dirty disease infected syringe in it. hey, i have a cell phone anyway! please don't send me "inspirational" emails. i am very convicted in my beliefs and don't want yours thrust upon me. be safe be well dream in colors. an' it harm none, do as you will