Monday, November 30, 2009

HELL NO

listen, if you're taking care of yourself, INCLUDING BATHING you shouldn't need 'feminine spray smell shite'. if there IS perhaps something amiss in your nether regions, GO TO YOUR FUCKING DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY

now, i'm all for expirementing and i know some things are ok for one's vagine and some things ARE NOT OK for your vagine (yes, i'm misspelling it on purpose. i KNOW how to spell it). i would NOT stick a fucking mint up there that was made by some company i know nothing about because this company i know NOTHING ABOUT says it will make me BETTER. better the fuck than what? i'm not good enough MINTLESS? if that's the case, beat feet. i don't need ya, i don't want ya.

as a general rule, if someone doesn't wanna go down there, a mint ain't gonna help

Femimint Hygiene: Vagina Mints

— By Jen Phillips

I recently got a press release from the makers of Linger, an "internal feminine flavoring" that promises to keep your vagina in mint condition. Think of it as an Altoid for your lady parts or, as its website explains, "A small, naturally sweetened flavoring, free of artificial dyes, which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused." What...the...?!

So where did the idea for this curiously wrong mint come from? Linger's website (a little NSFW) offers up a wondrous, romantic tale about the supposed discoverer of femimint hygiene, an unnamed woman who was seduced in India by a man with skin "the color of caramel." He quelled her fears of tasting bad "down there" with a mysterious, Eastern mint. "When I returned to the States, I brought the tingly sweet tasting mint with me," she writes. I've requested an interview with this mysterious entrepreneur, but have yet to speak with her. However, Linger's PR guy did send me a sample—made in exotic New Jersey. But that was just my first taste of disappointment........