oh f**k this

i never understood spending THOUSANDS on a wedding. i really don't. for what? i can't grasp it. i know i'm in the minority. i'll live with it.

what i CAN'T live with is this:

New "gifts" for bridesmaids: plastic surgery

Apparently there's some new trend of brides getting their bridesmaids Botox and plastic surgery and the like before the big day. You know, just in case American weddings weren't enough about unrealistic expectations, consumerism and all-around bizarreness.*

Some brides pick up the tab for their attendants, replacing the pillbox inscribed with the wedding date with a well-earned squirt between the eyes. In other cases, bridesmaids -- who may quietly seethe about unflattering dresses -- are surprisingly willing to pay for cosmetic enhancements. "Most women, when they come in here, they want it," said Camille Meyer, the owner of TriBeCa MedSpa. "They know they're aging."

For Karen Hohenstein, who held her party at the Tiffani Kim Institute Medical Wellness Spa in Chicago, convincing her friends was as smooth as a Botoxed forehead. "It wasn't me saying, 'Hey, we all could use a little something,' " she said. "It was, 'I want to do this,' and a couple of people said, 'I do, too.' "..........

(and if a friend ever asked me to be in their bridal party - ........................and i'm not EVEN going to mention how effing mad i am at a certain italian for NOT asking me to be his best man, he asked his BROTHER instead and his brother chewed gum THE WHOLE TIME.............. - she sure as shite better NEVER ask me to get botox, my face done or any other work. my breasts are safe. they don't need enhancement. shite even if they were tiny, i'd NEVER have them done. if she DID ask me not only would i NOT be in her wedding, i'd kick the shite out of her as well)