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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

from a certain jkope_5@yahoo.com with a reply requested to jkope@priest.com

i was SO touched and SO moved by this poor man's story, i IMMEDIATELY contacted him. My responde to Jacob follows his email to me.

greetings,please i am very sorry to intrude in your privacy,Ihave a proposal for you, however it is not mandatorynor will I in any manner compel you to honour againstyour will.i am jacob kope i will be very brief butbefore I will beg to ask you a few questions,do youhave the fear of God in you,do you have human sympathyfor the less fortunate victims of disasters liketsunami and hurricane katrina and lately hurricanerita that left a lot of people homeless and dead.i am an orphan at the moment and my father was a cocoafarmer and he got killed but before he died, heconfided in me that he had two trunk boxes containinga certain amount of money and family valuables forsecurity reasons,I will not state the amount nowdeposited with a reliable security firm which has itsheadquaters in europe,he told me that he did not declare the contents of thetrunk boxes to the firm.he gave me vital documentscontaining important security codes related to thedeposit and he told the firm that it belonged to hisforeign business counterpart who will come at a laterdate for the claim.he cautioned me to look for a trustworthy god fearingman or woman who will stand in as his foreign business partner and assist me secure this funds.he asked me to give back 10% tithe back to the churchas instructed in malachi 3.10.he asked not to departfrom the word of God,he asked me to make sure that ibecome a pastor which has been my heart desire.i am only 22 and these challenge is much on me.i needed a gaurdian, however i contacted one americanby name mr mathews graham who happens to be a niceperson to me.he has visited the company in europe tosee things himself and he was happy for all the operations manager told him concerning theconsignment. he travelled back to new orleans on aholiday trip promising to go back to europe to paywhat the company told him to pay as outstanding debt incurred during the storage time and find a safe wayto lift the box without any hitch.he informed me on 15/08/2005 indicating that he hadpaid the security company outstanding debt of 67 000us dollars for them to cargo the boxes throughdiplomatic courier service. i tried to reach him on 29/08/2005 to let him know that the company had cashedthe money and is ready to shift the consignment in thenext 72 hours only to hear the shock of my life thatmr graham was among the people who died on the recenthurrican katrina disaster,a category 5 storm whichstruck a catastrophic blow at the gulf coast drivingwalls of water across the city's leevees flooding neworleans destroying homes and he was killed,immediatelyi got the news i stopped the security firm fromshifting the consignment until further notice.in fact all i want you to do is to write me backurgently immediately you receive this messageindicating your interest to help me out of thisproblem. fate has not treated me well,i have lostpeople that are dear to me,please i am in need of yoururgent aid.may his soul rest in perfect peace amen. i hope thisproposal meets your kind approval.best regardsjacob kope__________________________________________________Do You Yahoo!?Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com

Oh Jacob what a VERY sad story indeed. HOWEVER, I too have some sad news. I was just diagnosed with a terminal illness. Since you have had so much bad news in your life of late, I will not go into further detail about that. I wish to spare you as much as I can. Since I am all alone at this point in my life, I do need to tell you a few other things. One is, my dog was run over by a car two days ago and I am still reeling over that horrid incident. It didn't help that I was the one driving the car at the time. I swear to you Jacob HE USUALLY MOVES out of the way! This time he just didn't. I have a bad back and he weighed 147 pounds but I bent over and dragged him into the back yard. I dug a hole as best as I could and I threw his body in there. By the time I filled in the grave, I could barely stand up. I had to call the police to help me and they called me an ambulance. I was rushed to the hospital where I had several tests done. They also gave me a very big needle (it looked like it was at least six inches long) in my spine. I got a big headache after that Jacob. I wish I had some family to comfort me. When my latest husband died (he was my fifth. The four before him died too. I just have NO luck with men at all) he left me a great deal of money. Since I disowned my children I have no one to share it with. Oh let me get back to my story. In the hospital I got so sick from my headache that the big needle gave me, I vomited all over. It got on me and the bed and the walls and the floor. Oh it was a BIG mess Jacob. I was so sick! Anyway Jacob, they let me go home the next day. I had to have my houseman pick me up. His name is Raul and he works for me and lives above the garage. He was off the day I hit that stupid dog. I let him take the day off because he said something about someone being in trouble. What an idiot I was to listen to him and let him go that day! Boy was I ever sorry! I hired him when my husband first got sick to help me out around the house. He comes from El Salvador or Guatamala or San Salvador or someplace where they speak that mexican language. I don't understand him half of the time, but he is big and strong and he helps me out with the yard and the pool and if I need his help inside the house he will do whatever I ask. Do you know who Fabio is? He sort of looks like Fabio but with black wavy hair. I guess he is handsome if you go for that type. You know what I"m talking about Jacob, don't you? Sometimes I do get very lonely and I do ask him to come in the house even when I don't have too much for him to do. Sometimes I have a drink and I make him have a drink too. Sometimes I don't remember what happens but I always wake up in my bed. Any way Jacob, I disowned my children because they are ungrateful selfish children Jacob. All they want is money money money. I am sure you know the type. I am sure you have come across such people in your life too. I cannot stand them. I do want to share all of my money with someone. Someone who understands me and since I will not be alive too much longer, I wish I had someone in my life. I live in Alabama Jacob. Do you know where that is? We have a lot of trees and very big houses in my section. It has the right kind of people living there if you know what I mean and I think you do. I can tell from your letter you are a good man. You are a man of God. Jacob I do not feel good right now. I think I have the vapors. I think I have to go lay down. I think I have to call Raul in to help me. Jacob, I will tell you this Jacob, and I MEAN this from the very bottom of my heart Jacob, MAY YOU GET EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE

May your God bless you Jacob and watch over you. I am sorry you are an orphan

5 comments:

Guerrillas in the Midst said...

Damn woman! Go eat some mac n' cheese! That was cold. You know anyone with "vial security codes" was long gone when that sucker hit. Sad to think that there are actually people making money from this "cleanup"...

Unknown said...

best part is i am SURE he/she/they are in nigeria. the CAPITAL of this crap (why i sure don't know)

i actually would love some mac and cheese, but no cheese for me unless it's rice or soy or almond. that just doesn't cut it for the mac & cheese at all

Guerrillas in the Midst said...

Well, I already got you laughing from the Roseisamone bit, so I might as well try to corrupt you further by chanting:

Velveeeeeeeetuhhhhhh
Velveeeeeeeetuhhhhhh
Velveeeeeeeetuhhhhhh

Why eat milk-based products when you can eat plastic-based products?

Now quit trying to be in a bad mood or ah shall taunt you a second tahm!

vanx said...

I'm verklempt! Ours is an Awful God, and He works in Awful Ways~,:^0

Unknown said...

g i t m i'll have you know i woke up to this comment. i'm sitting here drinking my coffee AND once again laughing (in a better mood as well)

vanx, well if our god is responsible for those horrid scam emails.................