me, part i

i know i look unusual (i prefer to use the word exotic when describing myself). however, i am NOT hideous nor am i an ogre. i am a realist; i will never blend in with a crowd and i know my looks startle some. if they take the time to talk to me, they soon find out i am NOT burning babies in my basement. i am fairly intelligent (well i can read past the sixth grade level), have a big heart, have what i think (modest ain’t i?) is a great sense of humor AND (i saved the best for last) i can dance! i’m a chronic insomniac and a hard worker. i love animals (in most cases more than people), black strong coffee and good vodka. i’m addicted to movies and music and literature. i have taken up knitting and crocheting again after a VERY long absence. i love to hand craft gifts even though they are never perfect. i help people of diminutive stature take things down from the higher up grocery shelves. i am shy but no one ever believes that because i have a damn good defense mechanism (which is simply me looking fierce. oh, don’t get me wrong, if someone needs defending you bet i am the first one there. i have the backs of ALL of my friends and family). i am vegan but i don’t preach. what you want to eat and wear is YOUR choice NOT mine. just don’t come after me with YOUR views because i’ll come right back at you with mine. i was raised roman catholic but left that far behind long ago. i don’t like the idea of women not being allowed any power. i also don’t like priests not being able to marry. what i feel the strongest about though, is the judeo-christian concept of fear; you either do this or that or don’t do this or that or god will get you and on top of that you’ll never get to heaven. wars in the name of your god(s). i just don’t get it. (there is a wonderful song by dar williams called the christians and the pagans. i love it! it’s one of my all time favorite holiday songs. it’s about a woman and her friend (or lover, i’m not quite sure) who visit her uncle and his family at christmas time. the young son has many questions for the pagan guests and mom and dad get rather anxious. in the end everyone realizes they are all family and they are together and that is what matters the most).

a little story about my looks (appropriate at this time i must say). a year or two ago i was leaving the loo at work and a young woman was entering. it was the month of october. she looked at me and said, ‘i LOVE your halloween costume’. i smiled a bit and looked her back in the eye and said, ‘oh, i’m NOT in costume, this is how i look EVERY day’. she cocked her head a bit and said, “no it’s not!”. well what could i say after that. i smiled a bit and went on my way.
as a rule many people do NOT say hello to me at work. it is their loss. as i stated above, all they have to do is take the time to get to know me. i’m a sensitive caring human being. i laugh, i cry and cut me and i bleed just like anyone else. well, ice water, but i bleed none the less or all