this is great shite!

from sadly no

html mencken gets all hot and bothered by marie jon (who was writing about god telling us who we can and cannot fuck and when and how and how women rush home after work to clean and men are somehow stuck on freeways. hey, i don't get it either). but html mencken soon gets a karate chop to the nuts (so to speak). you MUST read it, it is WICKED FUNNY!
(note: of course html mencken has a sense of humor, but sadly NO, marie does not. her shite is serious. well i don't think it's serious but SHE does. hey marie, when did god tell you who to fuck?)


OH MY GOD

by HTML Mencken

Marie’s talking about SEXYOUALL INTERCOURSE! BOIOIOIOIOINNNNNNNNG!!!

Here I am, rather like a wingnut, home alone on a Saturday night. GF worked late, it rained here all day.. bleh. And Marie, sly vixen that she is, totally knew it. She knew that Tintin would make fun of a Warner Todd Bukkit post, which would in turn make me click through and then click again until until I wound up at WTB’s personal site, stunned to see Marie there making sexy talk (which she never does at Renew America). It was like walking into a backwoods methlab to find Megan Fox parked on the couch looking glamorous and chattin about jetset shit. Marie caught me by surprise, and when I was weak.

God’s plan for marriage includes companionship and sexual enjoyment. It is undeniable that the Almighty created marriage as the place where both man and woman meet their sexual needs. Within Holy Matrimony, there is a deep abiding love that is naturally expressed in the act of intimacy.

You know, when I mentally strike out the “God” and “marriage” crap, this is pretty steamy stuff.

However, at times, life can become complicated and hurried. Many couples become distracted to the point where they spend less quality time together within the bedroom.

Today’s women often work and are tired after a long day. When they walk into the door, they immediately begin tending to the children, cleaning, helping with schoolwork, and preparing the evening dinner. Men frequently get up early to hit the freeways. They spend eight or more long hours at work before their tedious commute in heavy traffic to return home. All of this stress takes a toll on marriage. Too often, couples collapse into bed with hardly enough thought or energy to say good night.

This gets it all wrong, Marie. First of all, in a proper relationship between liberals, neither person “works;” both simply cash the welfare checks sent to them by Barack Hussein Hitler who coerces the money from those hardluck wealthy people who never can seem to catch a break. I admit it can be a chore to walk to the mailbox and back, but somehow we manage the task and have energy reserves left for tantric sex. Then there’s the “children” thing. Sorry, Marie: again, this is not applicable. I’ve had all my kids aborted. No distractions that way, plus it comports with liberalism’s longterm goal to make the white race extinct. Then there’s the commute thing. Pfft. Silly Marie, liberals use public transport! So, yeah baby, I gots the energy.........

this is good

it's funny BUT it's scary too
A Liberal Goes Undercover to Brave America's Premiere Right-Wing Gathering
By Mister Leonard Pierce, AlterNet
So I decided to go to the 2008 Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC -- America's foremost gathering of the extreme right wing of the Republican Party. Why did I do it? For years, I'd been writing snotty articles about the reactionary right as a contributor to the blog Sadly, No! but aside from family reunions, I never spent much time with them. So, with a hotly contested presidential election in the offing and rumors of the retreat of modern neoconservativism being whispered in the corridors of punditry, I decided there was no better time than the present to worm my way into the midst of the right wing's true believers. Using the generous donations of Sadly, No! readers and other well-wishers, and posing as a lobbyist for the American Milk Solids Council, I made my way to Washington in early February and sat through every moment of CPAC 2008. Herewith, a highly abridged version of my copious notes from the belly of the beast.
*****
WEDNESDAY NIGHT. When I arrive at the hotel, two members of the Young America's Foundation -- the omnipresent youth league that superceded the hippie-punching Young Americans for Freedom -- are trying to check in using a credit card not belonging to them. Rules are for poor people, and they seem to think that if they berate the poor West African guy working the front desk, they'll get what they want eventually. They may be wrong, but damn it, no late-shift immigrant is going to tell them that. Modern Washington, the Washington of Bush and CPAC, was built to keep people like him from telling people like them what to do.
The convention will be attended, largely, by two groups of people: the mainline Republican rump of 19-percenters, who think George W. Bush is doing a Brownian heck of a job, and the radical right, who think that the problem with George is that he's not heartlessly conservative enough. To put it another way, here we have the people who look at the wreckage of the American 2000s and pronounce it a wonderful thing and the people who look at it and say, "Yeah, it's pretty awful, but if we tried, we could make it a whole lot worse."..............